You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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