I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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