But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
