I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Randomize
