I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
