i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
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