Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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