oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
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