they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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