hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
the day after is always just damage control
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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