it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize