He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
