the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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