Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
