He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
