he thought i was a dude.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
