I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
