That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
