Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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