he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
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