the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
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