So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Randomize
