Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
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