Sry I called you an 8
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
