I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
