You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
