Fine. I'll sleep in my office
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
My dad is sitting where you rode me
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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