Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
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