therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Dignity is for republicans.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
