He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
