i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
