Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Randomize
