My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Randomize
