It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
