do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
