It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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