This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
