Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
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