"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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