why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
