I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
My dad just said "fuck circus"
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
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