so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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