Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
