After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
