So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
