How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Is Oprah even human
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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