Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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