Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
