HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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