This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
