i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Randomize
