Are we in a gay sports bar?
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
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