I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
