That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
They took my balls.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
