the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
