why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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