Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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