It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize