dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
there was a trapeze. enough said
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
