Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
