lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
my poor anus
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Randomize
