Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I think your dad took our porno
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
