oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
