I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Randomize
